You May be a Taliban If....

With apologies....

You may be a Taliban if....

1. You refine heroin for a living but have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe you butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
9. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have other uses than setting off road side bombs.
10. You have always had a crush on your neighbors goat.